D*Land Exile

i feel angsty and it makes me want to puke.

i would get out, but the prices on gas are putting a real crunch on my finances. over two bucks a gallon! its crazy!

somebody hire me! i am a good input slavey. i can smile at customers. i look presentable in a uniform?

oh well. its an on-going struggle to get my shit together.

when i walk around, i envision myself surrounded by this bubble. this is my personal space that i strive to have absolute control over. i hate it when people get too close when its unnecessary for them to.

and i envision a shield around that fragile bubble--thick stone, a wall of jagged, cut-your-throat rocks, barbed and razor wire, shiny metal spikes.

and the wall gets thicker and the jags and spikes longer.

wearing a "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE" sign around my neck would probably be more efficient.

but i thrive on emotional turmoil. the fear, the self-loathing, the warm glowy feeling, the brief ecstatic moments, doubt, anticipation.

can't have all that tasty internal conflict without people.

and i'm not naturally a stand-offish person which is maybe why the walls have been so ready of late. always tired and afraid.

and i think i need to realize i don't have to be a nice girl. i don't need people to like me--not everyone.

oh hell, i don't know who the fuck i am.

tell you the truth.

""Which cocktail are you?""
brought to you by Quizilla

thanks to Adam for pointing this out...

by the way, need i say i would never drink this?

Universe, pleeease drop something in my lap...??

i just got a permanent spot, on Fridays at 9:30am PST. so for those in the general Los Angeles, CA, USA area (you know the one) you can tune into KLAS 89.7FM (OR for my dear lovelies abroad catch me on http://klasfm.com). i'll be broadcasting for thirty minutes, so listen in.

first show will air March 7, so be there or be---something not cool.

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